So I recently got in a fight about grammar with Michael Jackson's Ghost on Facebook.
I would put a link to the conversation but I don't think it would be accessible to you--my one dear reader. Instead, I'm just going to relay a conversation I had with my friend shortly afterward...
ME: I'm trying to decide which story to write about for my point-of-view essay. I don't really have anything to say for either of them...
So then I wondered if you could find short stories on Sparknotes. In case you were wondering too, you can't.
TRISTAN: Oh, dammit.
ME: I just had a cyber fight with Michael Jackson's Ghost. WTF?
TRISTAN: Are you on meth?
ME: Well...no. But he has a totally unnecessary hyphen in his name and I just pointed that out after he commented on Rach's status.Then he got all pissy and told me I had reckless punctuation, but my grammar is mother-fucking immaculate. So GET AT ME, Michael Jackson's Ghost.
TRISTAN: You just raped him with words.
ME: You found it! Thanks for supporting me, friend. He's not even a real person. It's prolly like someone's cat or something that figured out how to type in order to ease his separation anxiety...
TRISTAN: Wait. I'm totally quoting that.
ME: No. You're not, actually.
TRISTAN: I'll give you credit for it. *
ME: WAIT. Rach just told me it's her dad's friend from high school. I just peed a little. This is awkward...
TRISTAN: I'm literally peeing my pants this is so entertaining.
GAHHH...I NEED TO FIND A SENIOR QUOTE.
ME: Common Ground: "They all have babies and they all carry them all the time." --Aine Cole
TRISTAN: Tempting. I was actually going to say, "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH YOUR SEX IS ON FIIIIIIIIIIIRE...
ME: Oh. I would go with that one, fo' sho'.
TRISTAN: Fuck my life. I need a good one! Imma quote Nicki Minaj...
ME: "And I don't sympathize 'cause you a simple bitch." DONE.
TRISTAN: Personally, I would quote "Days of Our Lives."
"You wink it just goes by. So we'll just get it with no edison."
ME: Go for it, Homo.
*He didn't. That asshole.
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