Hypothetically, if I were to eat an entire package of bacon, what would be my chances of dying within the following 24 hours?



Should I call a doctor?










Seriously. Should I?

IDK Mah BFF Conor...

Hey guess what?! Tomorrow is my best friend's 18th birthday! And you should care because he's the most amazing person I've ever known. He's stylish, absolutely hilarious, and he understands me like no one else; he's my soul mate...so happy birthday, Conor! Here are some photos of us over the years...