Last summer I was supposed to read the Bible for my AP English course. I read the beginning but soon realized that God was a sick son of a bitch with a cruel sense of humor. After that story about Lot and his wife who turns into a pillar of salt, I started openly making fun of the Bible to anyone who would listen. The sad part is all my friends thought it was funny. I guess that means we're all a group of heathens, and we will be taking the short bus together to Hell. Anyway this was my interpretation of that particular story...
So Lot is like chillin' and shit in Sodom--ya know that evil place? And then two angels appear, and Lot is like, "Yo. You best be stayin' the night at mah place so I can prepare you some bread without yeast." And finally the angels agree, but then "before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom--both young and old--surrounded the house. They called to Lot, 'Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.'" (<<ACTUAL QUOTE FROM THE BIBLE,YO.) And then Lot's all, "NO way, mothafuckaaahhs. Those are Goddamn angels in there and they're fucking holy. I'll tell you what, you can just take my virgin daughters and do whatever the fuck you want with them.' And then God's like, "Shiiitt, man! Why'd you just do that?" So he tells them to run away, and turns his wife into a fucking pillar of salt. Then Lot's daughters get Lot drunk and have sex with him.
But honestly, does no one else find this a completely ridiculous chain of events? I mean I've always wanted to have a orgy with angels but why do Lot's daughters have sex with him? Also, what does this have to do with Jesus or religion?
