Conversation I had with my friend, Rachael:
Me: I feel like there is an alien baby about to explode out of my stomach...but it's more likely that I just have a stomach ache from eating twenty peppermint patties.
Rach: Wait...that's the funniest thing you've ever said.
Me: Isn't mint supposed to be soothing? There should be some warning about overdosing on peppermint.
Rach: Well, I think mint is soothing when you've had like one, but twenty...
Me: Yeah. Twenty should be like SUPER MOTHER-FUCKING SOOTHING.
Rach: ...
Me: That shit should be bolded on the front of the package.
Rach: Well, unlike you, most people don't eat twenty, so they don't have this problem.
Me: This is an outrage. I'm pissed.
Rach: Because you're a glutanist?
Me: I refused to be discriminated against. Hannah's boyfriend gave me a sticker that's supposed to make me feel better, but I feel fine so how am I supposed to know when I feel better? Also, I feel worse because I ate so many peppermint patties. I think I might vomit....I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL, RACHAEL. EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I AM AT FAULT HERE?
Rach: It takes a special person to follow your thoughts. Unfortunately, that's me.
In conclusion, I'm disgusting and suffer from mild ADD. Also Rachael totally made up the word glutanist...
